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September 30 The Wages of the ClosetAccording to the Seattle TImes: "Six-term Rep. Mark Foley, R-Fla., resigned from Congress on Friday, a day after the publication of e-mails sent to a former underage male page and the discovery of a series of explicit instant-messaging sessions with other boys."
Such are the wages of the closet. We've seen similar situations with Roman Catholic priests. The closet warps and perverts a gay man's sexual identity.
There is more and more evidence that the old 10% statistic is true. But half that group is so closeted, so ashamed, and so afraid of their lives being destroyed by society that they deny who they are as God made them. They lie to their wives, their peers, statisticians, and most often to themselves. How sad it is. But don't feel too sad.
Not only are closeted gay men destroying themselves, they are destroying others as well. And, they are perpetuating destructive myths. If you think being forced out of the closet at age 40 is difficult, try coming out at the age of 15, 16, or 17. Try dealing with harassment and vitriol from peers, family, and society! Image the toll that takes on a teen's self-image and friendships! It is those young men who come out early that we should embrace and comfort - for they are brave role models - the epitome of honesty and strength. I am lucky to know one young man like that. I'll call him "Christian" because though he is out at school and church, he has not yet come out to his parents.
While we shake our heads and wonder why people like Mark Foley are so self-destructive and false, young men like Christian are suffering the ignorance and rejection of their high school peers. While some pontificate about the need for gay and lesbian people to change and turn away from sin, heroes like Christian are attending church and voicing their determination that they will never subject others to the kinds of cruelty that honest gay teens endure on a daily basis.
Men like Congressman Mark Foley, or Mayor James West, or Governor Jim McGreavy are to be pitied. Young men like Christian should be admired. September 25 A Weekend CruiseWe just got back today from two...yes two cruises! We manage to take one step closer to Princess Cruises' Platinum Status with all its benefits, try a taste of a new cruise line, and enjoy ourselves in the process.
Saturday morning, we boarded the Dawn Princess bound for Vancouver, British Columbia. Gene and I layed by the Lotus pool, and celebrated the ship's late departure at the Sailaway party, also finding time to meet other Cruise Critic members for some social time. The evening met a crescendo with an intimate dinner for two in the main dining room and a music and dance performance in the Princess Theatre.
On the next morning we arrived in Vancouver, stored our bags at the cruise terminal, and meandered five blocks into Gas Town. There we enjoyed coffee at an outdoor café, followed by a tour of the new history/performance attraction called Storyeum.
By 1pm we were back in line at the cruise terminal, boarding Holland America's Veendam. Again we napped and spent quiet time by the main pool. Touring the ship was a highlight because we've never been on a HAL ship. We were lucky enough to meet a very nice newly married gay couple (yes, gay citizens in Canada can legally marry) at the Sailaway party. Then it was time for cocktails, dinner with more Cruise Critic folks as well as Princess and HAL employees. The night closed with a terrific comedian in the Ruebens Show Lounge.
Today - Monday morning, I awoke as the Veendam was entering Seattle's harbor. Breakfast was early and enjoyable in the Lido Buffet. By 8:15am we were walking down the gangway exactly where we had started our brief voyage. I hopped into the car and immmediately headed for school. It was a whirlwind getaway, and well worth the effort. September 23 I Love ServiceOK - Gene showed me a video commercial at Google Video today. It's perfect for a day when we are leaving on a little vacation.
Yes, it's stereotypicaly gay. It's full of sexual inuendo. It's tasteless, tacky, politically incorrect, rude, and appeals to our baser intincts.
I LOVE IT!
It also shows the difference between what one sees on European TV and what one sees in the much more conservative and serious USA. This commercial would NEVER be on mainstream TV in the States. Maybe on LOGO (which we now get via sattellite) - but even there, it's would probably push the envelope too much.
The thing that makes this commercial good is it targeting the gay community (three times as likely to travel internationally than straight people) AND it making good humored fun of us at the same time. From a certain point of view, it
s very respectful. To me, this commercial says, "We want your business. You are fun loving people." I like that combination. I'm a very serious person (as everyone knows) but I do manage to laugh at my tribe and myself sometimes.
Click here for a great Travelocity commercial. (not suitable for the children of uptight parents.)
Weekend GetawayToday marks the beginning of our third cruise. Yeah, it only lasts for 2 nights, but still - it's better than nothing.
Gene and I are excited to be on new and different ships from the last two. We're taking the Dawn Princess overnight up to Vancouver, BC. Then we switch to Holland America's Veendam for the trip back.
Thankfully, a house sitter will be taking care of the kids as well as our home.
Wish us a Bon Voyage! September 12 The Best Public School in SeattleI work a the best public school in Seattle. There are many ways to judge such a school: academics, test scores, parent/teacher relations, creativity, diversity, teacher experience, etc. I think my school is the best because it has the best balance of all these elements. We don't have the highest test scores, but we are in the upper third. We take state mandated tests seriously, but we don't worship the results. We have vocal and instrumental music, as well as a special artist in residence program - so we work on academics, but we also celebrate the arts. We have so much more: a great PTA, a terrific and dedicated staff, an informative website, after school enrichment classes, and so much more. Damn, we are good! Our kids are happy and learning. Half of our kids are white, and half are not. 3/4 of our families speak English, and 1/4 speak another language. We love them all and we honor all the diverse traditions, talents, and backgrounds of our kids.
I mention this because of a article in today's Seattle Times about schools that are inclusive and welcoming to gay and lesbian parents. My school is that type of school too. In fact, I have had gay/lesbain families in my class every year for the last 6 years. And the vast majority of parents thoughout our school embrace gay people and families with open arms. Add to that the fact that several staff members are gay or lesbian, and you have a formula for support and acceptance of all families except one kind: fundamentalist. Yes, we have had those families too - and they have always been treated with equity, respect, and care. I have followed the requests of Jehovah's Wintness families. I have accomodated the demand of Southern Baptists. The problem is, some (not all) fundamentalist families kept insisting: do not put my child in a class with a gay teacher! To make such a demand actually turned off some straight families, and ultimately the fundamentalist families moved to another school because I think they felt isolated.
The mark of our diverse and well balanced school is that we accept each other regardless of talent, race, ethnicity, wealth, orientation, religion or gender. But when some people start making demands that violate that respect, they find themselves slowly and quietly isolated. In my mind, that's for the best. We have many strongly religous families who love our school.
God bless our terrific school, our fantastic kids, our dedicated parents, and our wonderful staff. I really think we are getting things right. We have a great balance! September 10 A PENDING SALE! in Only 12 DaysFor the last 48 hours, we've been trying to come to an agreement with a buyer for our townhouse. It looks like we have finally got a contractual agreement. This afternoon, we will sign her counter offer. AND, we sold it for more than we paid. But, not enough to make up for our losses in fees, taxes, and interest. Now the sales process can move toward a resolution. There still has to be a structural inspection, and final loan approval is yet to come. Some minor repair work is needed on the townhouse, but it's covered by the warranty. All we have to do it motivate the builder to get the work done ASAP. That could be the hardest part. But if all goes well, by mid-October the townhouse fiasco will be history. September 09 The Advantages of HomeThough I feel sad, frustrated, and embarassed about out recent real estate fiasco, there are some advantages to our final result. The plan to sell our home got us off our combined duffs and motivated us to finish some old projects.
We finally stripped the old cracked wallpaper from the foyer and front hall. It was a tedious and annoying job, but it's finally done. Now both spaces are painted the beautiful and warm colonial gold we also painted the living and dining rooms.
I also finished painting the high ceiling in our stairwell, and Gene finished painting the back of the kitchen door. For the last two years, those surfaces had remained the old beige color while adjacent doors and walls were brighted with a pale yellow and white trim. We also had a garage sale, letting go of several pieces of furniture which never quite fit in the house.
Add to those projects a generall de-cluttering and purging of closets, cabinets, and drawers - and now we have a beautifully refreshed home which WE get to enjoy, not a new owner.
Today, I'm going to refresh the gold painted trim on the guest bathroom mirror. It's been looking worn for quite a while. So, the work continues, and that feel good to me. September 08 A Change of HeartI'm behind schedule blogging about recent events. The most important of which has been our decision to NOT sell our house and move into our new townhouse, but rather to immediately put our new townhouse back on the market. Why would we do this? Are we insane? Yes.
During the entire purchase transaction, we have been very frazzled, and the whole thing has felt wrong. It's hard to explain, but both Gene and I just have not felt good aobut this new purchase. Then, on a Friday night soon after my last posting, I went over to the new place to experience it and the view at night. Our adjacent neighbors were having a huge party. Their music was very loud and the 12 packs of beer were coming in every 2-3 minutes. Most atendees were in their mid-twenties. Girls in belly shirts and boys with their shirts off filled the neighbor's deck and back yard.
I returned to our current home in a panic. I knew some of the townhouses in our complex were rented, but I didn't know we had 25 year old partiers next door. Gene and I started talking seriously about the disadvantages of living where more than 25% of the units are being rented. Add to that fact some new information: the owners of the adjacent townhouse live in Florida. So they would be of no real help at all.
The next morning, Gene went to our place and found beer bottles and cans scattered all over the complex. That was the last straw. This wasn't some house warming party that was just a little loud. These were people who obviously have no concern about where they live or the effect they have on neighbors. So we decided on Sunday we would not move, but instead sell the townhouse now and take the financial loss off our taxes.
I refuse to deal with noisy neighbors and absentee landlords. Our financial investment in a home and the emotional ties we form to our dwelling are too important to suffer through the annoyance of obnoxious neighbors. Plus, two more units are for rent. What other people might we have to deal with? Going into this deal, I had no idea that large townhouse units worth more than $650K would be used as rentals.
I feel horribly disappointed and ashamed that we rushed into this deal -and now we will lose a huge amount of money because not enough time has passed to recoup our closing costs from two transactions. The whole experience has been an awful disaster. My one relief has been the beauty, quiet and comfort of our current home, as well as my return to teaching for the new school year.
Going back to work has saved me emotionally. Thank God for the stability and love of little second graders. Teaching and taking care of them makes all other issues fade into the background. And of course, the fact that Gene and I are of one mind in this affair has been the foundational.
Last weekend, we also managed to sell our ski boat. So, our original desire, to downsize and simplify life, continues - despite the fact we are not moving.
It will easily take us a full year to recover from this financial loss. I suppose I must simply take comfort in the fact that we have learned a lessson, and we have the financial means to absorb such a shocking loss. We could be much worse off. We could be leaving a home we love, knowing we are moving into a home we hate. Now that would be a tragedy. |
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